killing a mice is more difficukt than killing a wife

bills daughter had a troat in the frog

wills will kill hills  

kiss the goat forget the nose

mushraf goes PAKISTAN grows

hitler's feet under the bush hips

josh ha himat

jo jeta wohi sakandar

hath kangan ko arsi kai

jis ki lathi as ki bhesn

as u sow so shell u reep

cheap tear always bring fear

i'm just great is not always true for u

umer is a 100% great boy(serious na hona ma tumhare umer ki bt nai kr rha

balka ye 1 chawal merey sath betha ha as k barey ma ha)

don't make point more or u will lose ur hope

making a heep is not the peep

shawn of the dead is the resting nest

kick the dog get the roat

hick is fick

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.

Doctor: Tell me about your problem.

Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!

One behaviorist to another after lovemaking:

"Darling, that was wonderful for you. How was it for me?"

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave.

Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God.

The staff have the keys!

A psychologist was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him. "For your kindness," the genie said, "I will grant you one wish!" The psychologist paused, laughed, and replied, "I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California." The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, "Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they'd have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That's too much to ask." "OK," the psychologist said, not wanting to be unreasonable. "I'm a psychologist. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!" The genie paused, and then sighed, "Did you want two lanes or four

A psychologist was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him. "For your kindness," the genie said, "I will grant you one wish!" The psychologist paused, laughed, and replied, "I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California." The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, "Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they'd have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That's too much to ask." "OK," the psychologist said, not wanting to be unreasonable. "I'm a psychologist. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!" The genie paused, and then sighed, "Did you want two lanes or four

A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him, "Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they least expect it." As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and says, "King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I have the plans."

A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him, "Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they least expect it." As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and says, "King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I have the plans."

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."

"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

Patient: Doctor, my wife thinks I'm crazy because I like sausages.

Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like sausages too.

Patient: Good, you should come and see my collection. I've got hundreds of them.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?

Because when it's time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.

A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I can't make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?"

A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I can't make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?"